Don't Grieve the Spirit, Eph 4:25-32

Don't Grieve the Spirit

Eph 4:25-32

We will be looking at the paragraph found in Eph 4:25-32 where the Apostle Paul continues to explain to the saints what the Christian walk ought to look like.  I say "walk" because it is the main metaphor used in the scriptures, and in this book, for the Christian life--as we are conveyed from being dead in sin, to being alive to God and eventually, dead to sin and fully alive to glorification in the presence of Christ forever.

This paragraph begins with another therefore. Paul is making application from the general statements--yet powerful ones--in the preceding paragraph.

After telling the Ephesian Christians all the ways they should not walk as pagan unbelievers, we wrote in contrast:

²⁰ But you have not so learned Christ, ²¹ if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught by Him, as the truth is in Jesus: ²² that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts,²³ and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, ²⁴ and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness.

Paul tells them to put on the new man. I likened that to putting off an old useless coat in order to put on a new one. It is a picture or men made new by virtue of a work of God for them, in them and at times against them--like we find in the conversion of the Apostle himself.

God works in those who are drawn savingly to the Lord Jesus Christ and they are drawn by the Spirit of God, who brings them to life and gives them an awareness of who they now are.

Paul goes on to some of the particular ways men made new will be distinctively different than those around them who remain a part of the Kingdom of Darkness:

1. Tell the Truth

Eph 4: ²⁵ Therefore, putting away lying, “Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,”^[a] for we are members of one another.

2. Don't Sin in Your Anger

²⁶ “Be angry, and do not sin”:^[b] do not let the sun go down on your wrath, ²⁷ nor give place to the devil. 

3. No Longer Steel

²⁸ Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with hishands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need.

4. Watch Your Mouth

 ²⁹ Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.

5. Don't Grieve the Holy Spirit

 ³⁰ And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

6. Things to Put Off

 ³¹ Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.

7. Things to Put On

 ³² And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

Let's look at the text:

This is something of a list of that to put off and what to put on in its place. The Spirit of God doesn't just tell us what not to do, He often tells us what to do instead of the questionable behavior. We need this kind of gentle treatment. Don't do this; focus your energies on doing this instead.

Isn't this the most efficient way to deal with our own children? When they are doing something contrary, if we just yell at them, they may not understand what we now want them to do. They still have the contrary thing in their minds and are likely to go back to it, if we don't give them a good alternative. "Don't put that remote in your mouth? May stop them in their tracks, but "Here, let me trade that for this apple" might go a lot further in training them up in true righteousness.  We get them to put off one behavior by placing another in its place. God as our Heavenly Father does this for his sons and daughters here in this passage. These are things that define many people, some are spoken of all who remain unaided by the Spirit of God.

Paul's lists have always fascinated me. I wrote a paper about these lists in seminary. What I concluded is that Paul sets out the most important items in the first section, then goes on to other related items, then to more general things and finally, he often includes an all inclusive phrase like, "and if there is anything else…."

So, if my analysis of Paul and his lists is true, the most important particular grace that ought to define the believer is telling the truth.

1. Tell the Truth

Eph 4: ²⁵ Therefore, putting away lying, “Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,”^[a] for we are members of one another.

Lying is an activity of which all men, women and children are guilty. It is the most prevalent sin in the world at anytime and in every place. There are entire tribes who glory in the fact that they perpetually lie and get away with it.

Yet, lying does not have its origin in God, but in the devil.

John 8:44 You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it.

What was the devil's first action? It was to convince other angels to rebel against God. What was the first action he did in the garden? He sought to deceive Eve, and it worked.

That's what liars do, they deceive.  The problem with lying is you have to remember to whom you told which version of your words. It is always easier to just tell the truth--that way you tell everybody the same thing.

In Psalm 116 it says, "All men are liars." They do what their spiritual father by birth is known for. People lie because it is their fallen character to lie. The smallest babies learn to deceive to get what they want. People try to explain it away, but God says in Psalm 58:3 The wicked are estranged from the womb; They go astray as soon as they are born, speaking lies.  Lying is tied to the character of unregenerate people. And, in the dealings I have had with people in many contexts, something that is alive and well--even among professing Christians in churches like ours--I am embarrassed to admit.

People would rather spin and distort the truth; than speak what is true. 

The fate of the liars is dire:  It is a sign of apostasy from the faith--1 Tim 4:1 Now the Spirit expressly says that in latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons, ² speaking lies in hypocrisy….

It is inconsistent with a Christian profession. Actually, it is anti-Christian to habitually lie. You might lie by making up the words you say, by changing what you repeat from others or by omitting important parts of a matter to make it appear to say something else. Political spin whether for the right or left is sin.

We should always tell the truth. Our neighbors are all with whom we come in contact--read the parable of the Good Samaritan if you have any doubts. But, especially to one another in the context of a church--we owe each other the truth. Sometimes there are things that can not be said. When that is the case it is better to say nothing, than something vague enough to be misunderstood. And, there is one class of liars who use gossip and rumors to spread mistruths about others. Exaggeration is a form of giving a false impression.

We are members, we are joined together in Christ for the common good and ought to delight in unbroken fellowship. Once you know lies have been told, it cuts deeply severing fellowship that had once been solid.

Lying of any sort does great danger. We are called to speak the truth.

The second in Paul's list is….

2. Don't Sin in Your Anger

²⁶ “Be angry, and do not sin”:^[b] do not let the sun go down on your wrath, ²⁷ nor give place to the devil. 

Apparently, there is an anger that is righteous or anger wherein the Spirit of God gives unusual self-control. When we feel anger in our hearts we need to examine ourselves. Is this anger justified? We had a situation a few weeks ago involving my mother that made me angry. Sue and I went back to the place where this had happened to inquire. Sue reminded me to guard against anger and her profession when it was done was that I had held my tongue and didn't sin in my anger.

I also acted on this admonition--to not let the sun go down on my wrath. I went as soon as I could to deal with the problem, rather than let it boil within my overnight. The person we dealt with was helpful and apologetic over what happened. In all of that we were able to retain a good profession--at least I HOPE SO.

Anger can easily undermine a person's profession of faith. Anger is fairly universal, but people despise it when they see it in others and are often irrecoverably embarrassed when others see it in them.

By God's grace, we can become like Jesus who when provoked, did not respond in the same way. He could have called a host of Angels--God's warriors--to come in an instant to vanquish his foes. But, the Lord had an even keel though provoked through and through. What an example he is for his people, but also the end to which we are being changed.

Put off sinful anger, only become provoked for righteous reasons--deal with the issues as soon as you can. Anger stored is a cancer to all concerned. It will eat away at you and possibly affect your perspectives adversely so that you sin with your words once you handle the matter.

3. No Longer Steal

²⁸ Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with hishands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need.

It is possible for people who were once known by a particular sin or sins, to reform to the point that they are no longer to be defined by their once defining sins. Liars can be redeemed and renewed and restored. Angry people can learn gentleness and not be provoked. Thieves and robbers can be changed by the power of God in the Christian gospel.

I know a man who works with his hands making pulpits and church furniture. He made a lot of money in New York in the business world. Once he was converted to Christ and he heard these words, he could not remain in the old environment where he deceived and stole from others. Instead he know works with his hands as this verse commands.

There are lots of ways people steal in our days in very sophisticated ways. They misreport their income to reduce their taxes. They claim deductions that are not theirs. They make deals with others for their mutual prosperity while keeping the deal under wraps.

Take off theft and put on good hard work that you might have something to give to others in need. Work is what we are called to since the fall. We are not called to pursue all sorts of get rich schemes--of which the lottery is one.

There is a kind of theft that many don't think about very deeply. That is robbing from God by withholding what ought to be legitimate tithes and offerings to Him for the work of ministry in churches. This was a part of the great indictment of the Old Covenant people still around in Malachi's day. Read the book of Malachi to see more about how grevious a sin this is to God. That is all I want to say about the matter. Many if not most of you give sacrificially to keep the church afloat. So, if nobody needs to apply this further, that's a good thing. But, people being who they are….

Another practical matter is sins of the mouth. How much damage can be done by that little muscle called the tongue and its friends that encircle is--the lips.

4. Watch Your Mouth

 ²⁹ Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.

Put off corrupt speech, put on what is good for necessary edification.

What is corrupt speech? Let me read to you the words of John Gill on this phrase:

As unsavoury speech, foolish talking, light and frothy language, that which is filthy, unprofitable, noxious, and nauseous, and all that is sinful; such as profane oaths, curses, and imprecations, unchaste words, angry ones, proud, haughty, and arrogant expressions, lies, perjury which may be called corrupt, because such communication springs from a corrupt heart; is an evidence of the corruption of it; the subject matter of it is corrupt; and it conveys corruption to others, it corrupts good manners; and is the cause of men's going down to the pit of corruption: wherefore a restraint should be laid upon the lips of men; men have not a right to say what they please; good men will be cautious what they say, otherwise their religion is in vain; and conscious of their own weakness, they will pray to God to set a watch before their mouth, and to keep the door of their lips, and not suffer anything to come out,

Corrupt words come from an un-renewed heart--one that remains with corruption. This was one of the first fruits of my Christian conversion. I knew those words had no place in my vocabulary any longer. People know this, at least until their consciences are seared.

Years ago, out mechanic at that time, was unable to fix a problem with our car. In his frustration (or anger) he swore using the Lord's name in vain. Then he remembered my vocation and tried to backpeddle with an apology. I told him I expect language like that from people who hate God. He got defensive and told me "I don't hate God." I explained to him that God says people who use his name in vain hate Him. I explained to him that what came out of his mouth was first in his heart. So, in your deep inside you hate God. He never again swore in my presence.

We should speak words that are going to build up those who hear them.

Christians can get too comfortable with the notions of Christian liberty as if they always have the right to say whatever they want to say whenever they want to say it. That isn't true. There are many places in the Old and New were God's people are told how to use their mouths properly. We shouldn't talk like construction workers or sailors--two groups who are often charicatured as having free-flowing corrupt mouths.

What happens when you hear vulgar speech?

It wears you down. When we come together as God's people publicly or privately we need the antidote to the language we hear in the world--We need to impart grace to the hearers. That is a high standard to which we are called.

Again, Gill is helpful:

As unsavoury speech, foolish talking, light and frothy language, that which is filthy, unprofitable, noxious, and nauseous, and all that is sinful; such as profane oaths, curses, and imprecations, unchaste words, angry ones, proud, haughty, and arrogant expressions, lies, perjury which may be called corrupt, because such communication springs from a corrupt heart; is an evidence of the corruption of it; the subject matter of it is corrupt; and it conveys corruption to others, it corrupts good manners; and is the cause of men's going down to the pit of corruption: wherefore a restraint should be laid upon the lips of men; men have not a right to say what they please; good men will be cautious what they say, otherwise their religion is in vain; and conscious of their own weakness, they will pray to God to set a watch before their mouth, and to keep the door of their lips, and not suffer anything to come out….

For the Christian to practice such things they are in danger or sinning in such a way that God's divine presence could be diminished.

All of these things, if they are not put off, are in danger of either  diminishing our assurance in Christ or grieving the Holy Spirit.

Oour confession has this statement in Chapter Sixteen "of the Assurance of Grace and Salvation."

True believers may have the assurance of their salvation divers ways shaken, diminished, and intermitted; as by negligence in preserving of it, by falling into some special sin which woundeth the conscience and grieveth the Spirit; by some sudden or vehement temptation, by God's withdrawing the light of his countenance, and suffering even such as fear him to walk in darkness and to have no light, yet are they never destitute of the seed of God and life of faith, that love of Christ and the brethren, that sincerity of heart and conscience of duty out of which, by the operation of the Spirit, this assurance may in due time be revived, and by the which, in the meantime, they are preserved from utter despair.

5. Don't Grieve the Holy Spirit

 ³⁰ And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

The Spirit is the Shy Sovereign who directs attention away from himself. Yet, he is the member of the Trinity who is portrayed as taking up residence in all who believe.

He is so shy, that many forget about him and his presence even as He works to do so much for us. He is the member of the Godhead sent out to due the work of God in this age.

1 Cor 6:19-20 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? ²⁰ For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body^[a] and in your spirit, which are God’s.

We don't belong to ourselves. God paid a great price to make us his people. It cost his Son, his life. This entails that all so purchased should glorify God in all of their parts--in their body and in their spirit. And, both of those already belong to God.

When a believer sins he makes the Holy Spirit a partaker of his or her sins. When I have shown this to people they diminish it because of their sin. It is too much for them to bear because their sin is so great. This is Paul's application of these principles consistent with true righteousness and holiness fro a consideration of harlotry.

In the verses preceding 1Cor 6:19-20, we read:

1 Cor 6:15-17 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? [You are intimately joined to Him] Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? Certainly not! [That is the strongest way Paul says "no way" It means there is no way to justify this action] ¹⁶ Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For “the two,” He says, “shall become one flesh.”^{[a] 17} But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him.

Do you see the point? What we do with our bodies and spirits we cause God to partake of it as well. He is not an active partner, but by virtue of our union and communion with Him he is made to passively participate in all we do--if the greater, so too the lesser.

This shows us the most dangerous aspects of ongoing, habitual sin. In doing our pet sins we are in danger of grieving the Spirit.

The Spirit isn't grieved as we are. He has no passions--by that I mean negative emotions. Whatever this grief is it is a perfectly and godly perspective toward sins in the lives of those who should know better.

I am not arguing for a form of sinless perfection. If any of us at any time says they are without sin in this life the Bible calls them liars-- 1John 1:7 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. Because Jesus was tempted in all points like we are, he can intercede for us and help the Spirit understand our plight. But, there is some degree of sin, ongoing, character defining, habitual sin, that brings about the withdrawal of God's presence due to our sin.

May we learn to walk in such a way that we are less and less offensive to the one who bought us and saved us from sin.

Don't be content with how vile you are. Seek God's grace to grow in that true righteousness and holiness.

How long with this last? We are sealed until the day of Redemption--that is until the end of this age.

6. Things to Put Off--as inconsistent with the Christ life

 ³¹ Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.

7. Things to Put On--to be like Jesus

 ³² And be kind to one another, put on gentleness that makes you kind to all.

tenderhearted, as opposed to being hard-hearted towards others--fight against hard-hearts.

forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. How great is the forgiveness God has given you in Christ?

Use that as the standard to forgive others--even if they don't come to you in repentance--be forgiving, kind and tenderhearted.

Simply put, these are the basics of the Christian life--the way we walk before God, one another and the watching world. Amen!