A Simple
Word to Children
Eph 6:1-4
In Eph Chapter 5 we have noted a
number of ways to walk wisely in the world. Chapter Six continues that thought.
Manuscripts of the Bible did not
have chapters and verses like our Bibles do today until sometime in the 16th
Century. They are not part of the inspiration we claim for the Holy Scriptures.
They were added by scholars to make study easier. It was much easier to write
comments about a verse others could identify quickly in order to have give and
take from others. The men who gave us
the versification of the New Testament as we know it also gave us some awkward
breaks that slow down or stop the train of thought.
Here in 6:1 the danger is to
think of this as a new section with a new topic. It is another way of
wisdom--this time for children, then there is more to say about servants and
masters. These are all relationships in the church where some degree of submission
would be needed.
Let's read the text:
1. Those Addressed
Eph 6:1 Children,
2. The Command
obey your parents in
the Lord,
3. The Basis
for this is right
4. The Background
.2 “Honor
your father and mother,” which
is the first commandment with promise:
5. The Blessing
3 “that
it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.'
6. The Balance of
Fatherly Love
4 And you, fathers, do
not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and
admonition of the Lord.
Let's take a look at the text:
1. Those Addressed
Eph 6:1 Children,
It is a wonderfully
instructive thing that the Apostle does when he starts this section by
addressing the children directly.
Paul writes this
letter while in prison. He sends ot to them by the hand of one of his
co-workers and friends. Presumably, when the church was gathered, the letter
would be read. By writing directly to the children, Paul assumes they are
there--present among God's people as they are gathered together.
When it comes to the
worship of God, everyone meets together. There is no biblical precedence for a
Children's Church so they can hear the gospel on their level. The pattern is
what we find here in this letter and a parallel passage in Col 3:20ff. In this
book considered by itself, Paul wrote about election, depravity, their former
sinfulness in the context of some deeply theological expressions and
explanations. Now, all of a sudden, he addresses the children.
Paul did not write,
"Parents, put this in your children's minds and teach them about it."
With his apostolic authority, as he writes to the church, he includes a special
word directed at the children--a word that children need to hear about
submitting to their parents.
I want to get ahead
of myself a little by asking a question out of place. We read the text, so you
know we will get to obedience sooner or later. But, let me ask to make you
think. Put on your thinking caps and zip your lips together so you don't answer
out loud: How dangerous is it to disobey parents?
Listen to this list
from the Apostle Paul in another place. This is taken from 2 Timothy 3,
starting at the beginning at verse 1: 1 But know
this,
This
is something the Apostle is absolutely certain about and he wants them to know
this, too.
that
in the last days perilous times will come:
The
last days are the days between the first coming of Jesus and his return. We are
living in the last days.
Here
is a description of people in the last days:
2 For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money,
boasters, proud, blasphemers, [disobedient to parents,]
unthankful, unholy, 3 unloving,
unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, 4 traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than
lovers of God, 5 having
a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!
That is quite a list. These are the sorts of people it is
best to stay away from. Some of you may have realized what I did. I left one
item off the list the first time I read it. I did it to make a point--the point
is this--disobedience to your parents is among the worst sins you can commit.
You may not think it is a big deal, but God does. Let me read the list again
and this time with the item I left out.
2 For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money,
boasters, proud, blasphemers, [disobedient to parents,]
unthankful, unholy, 3 unloving,
unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, 4 traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than
lovers of God, 5 having
a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!
Isn't that amazing? That is one of the reasons your parents
correct and discipline you--it is because they love you.
How old are these
children mentioned by Paul in Eph 6?
The word is the
generic word for any one older then a an infant--any who can understand. The
test of understanding is usually found in how they learn to respond to the
word, "NO!"
But, parents never
really lose the responsibilities God gives towards their children. But,
sometimes it is hard to fulfill them when the child goes into a lifestyle of
sin--like the prodigal son. Or, when the child repudiates the relationship
through distance or sin.
Children are
addressed throughout the scriptures. They are always under the authority of
their parents, until they are under the
authority of others, in a marriage, in a workplace, or in a church. Yet,
parents have a responsibility to raise their children in the fear of God, in
the nurture and admonition of the gospel and many other ways as we are
instructed in the Word.
Sometimes, what a
parent says can be stated as a suggestion in order to build discernment in
them. But wisdom and discernment grows at different speeds in different
children.
The main point of
that first word, is that Paul expects the children to be present when the
letter was read to the gathered church.
A word of
application: Over the years, your children have learned to sit through worship.
I know by your anecdotes that they have learned some important things--though
not always getting them perfectly right. You are to be commended for fighting
the good fight by training your children to sit and listen in public as we are
worshipping.
Do things sometime
happen that distract you or others? Of course. It can even be a hacking cough
in an adult. Or, something unexpected from a child. Like last week. I was
concentrating so much on the sermon that I didn't realize the fullness of what
happened until I was told driving home. Those sorts of things are a part of
living in this world aong others who love us as we love our little children, no
matter what. When babies cry, they are
doing what they are designed to do--and in at least one Psalm, their cries are
viewed as praise God ordained from their lips.
So, be encouraged by
this commendation. It is one thing visitors are often amazed about.
To children of all
ages in various positions in life, we find…
2. The Command
obey your parents in
the Lord,
Obedience has two
parts: hearing and doing.
People of all ages
have trouble with hearing and doing--it's not just young children. It is
children of all ages. We just get better at avoiding the doing as we get older.
James wrote to those under his care--and remember, if we apply what we learned from the word children, it is likely some would have been present when the Letter from James was read: James 1:22 But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.
Children can become experts in avoiding both parts of obedience. Let's take a typical 18 year older. How many times has a parent had to ask him or her, Didn't you hear me? Or a parent might ask, How many times do I have to ask/tell you to do such-and-such? Once the attention is gotten, the doing is expected to follow. But, not always.
How many times have you heard about the commands of God in His Word through preaching or reading, yet, you didn't follow through with the doing? For children it is always the wisest thing to do to obey your parents, listen to what they say and do it--just as it is the wisest way to live for children and adults by obeying God.
The text adds, your
parents. You don't have to obey the
commands of everyone else's mother and father. But, you do need to respect
whoever tries to correct you with their words.
If you are getting
out of hand running around and someone thinks it might be dangerous for you or
for someone else, Listen to their suggestion and slow down--whether that is
inside or out. If someone brings it to your attention, it is probably a wise
thing to do.
It is your parents
that have been given a special place in your life to raise you up in the
nurture and admonition of the Lord--while loving you, while commanding you and
even while correcting you.
Speaking of
correction:
Why should preachers
preach against sin? Because it is one of those things that define us--even as
saints, we are simultaneously sinners. Preachers remind us about sin and point
us to Jesus for forgiveness and grace to work in us change. All people are
sinner….
Job 5:7 Is an out of the way verse with an important point to make. It
reads:
Yet man is born to trouble, As the sparks fly upward.
Trouble is something was can keep ourselves from doing, even at
young ages. How can a baby sin? By venting its native depravity is selfishness
among other things. If you have ever sat around a campfire, what happens with
the sparks? The jump around and fly upward in an unpredictable manner. That is
how sin affects every human being born into the world. Is there hope? How can
this be corrected? Well, it is a topic that many modern Christians have given up
on or become superficial about--child rearing or more popularly called
parenting. The w9ord of God tells us about at least one way to correct,
admonish and nurture.
It is needed because of disobedience to parents. Children sin
because their hearts are full of unwisdom, otherwise known as foolishness.
Oh, so-and-so is so cute. She's the perfect baby. Are false
sentiments. When we look at babies we should think more theologically--now,
there is a little fool. May God be gracious and use his or her parents to drive
the folly away and replace is with Godly wisdom.
We read:
Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child;
The rod of correction will drive it far from him.
I think the use of
the rod has been justly criticized because too many people use it to vent their
anger and not to nurture wisdom in the place of folly. Nurture and admonition
require instruction and explanation: Now Johnny, God says we need to love you by
disciplining you. You disobeyed you mother, God says to obey your parents, you
didn't so you disobeyed God. God has also given us a means to change your
heart. So, because I love you, I need to apply the board of education to the
seat of higher learning. DO it appropriately. Always have the child ask you for
forgiveness and to pray asking God for the same. That is using the rod to
nurture and admonish, not to purely and only punish. Discipline is punitive and
restorative. Just think of the way God disciplines you--it is because he loves
you. But, also, he doesn't discipline you for everything every time you sin. If
he did nobody could stand it. He is kind to nurture us.
The rod can be
understood metaphorically, as well. Once children get older, if they have
tender consciences through nurture, it may be enough to have a talk with them.
Be direct and concise, but nurture after correcting. We correct even our adult
children because we love them and want them to be wise--one day they may be
married and out of the house under the authority of another.
Parents, the
authority you have to command your children is qualified by three important
words: In the lord. Teach them to mmake decisions on their own. Help them to
find interests and hobbies that might direct them to a livelihood in
adulthood--even if that is to be a housewife and mother--there is no better
time to get them off on the right path like the present.
In Col 3:20 Paul adds
some important words: 20 Children,
obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.
Do you want to please the Lord--obey
your parents. It is that simple. Remember their instruction and do your best to
follow-through.
Why obey? It pleases
the Lord, but simply put another way…
3. The Basis
for this is right
Have you ever seen
someone doing something evil? Have you known someone who did something wrong,
besides yourself? Have you had that experience of thinking--that's wrong, or
that's not right? I've had to call the Police in our town a number of times
because I witnessed these kinds of things. You know what, nobody will ever
arrest you for doing what is right--well, they shouldn't, at least. In our
hearts we know what is right and wrong. The older you get and the more you are
informed about what the Bible says, the more you are prepared to discern what
is right and wrong. Obey parents is always and simply right.
Have you been at a
playground and a parent tells her children that it's time to go and the child
starts crying or throwing a tantrum--that is not right, it displeases God and
it looks ugly to others who see or hear it. Obeying parents is always right--we
might not want to do it right away--but, that is best for us, too. Remember,
your parents are wiser then you.
What is the
background or foundation upon which Paul corrects them?
4. The Background
.2 “Honor
your father and mother,” which
is the first commandment with promise:
It is one of the Ten
Commandments. The Apostle had no fear using the Law of God that had been given
to the children of Israel wandering in the wilderness as a rule of life under
the New Covenant. And, what I find more interesting, is that the Ephesians were
converted Gentiles who had no natural claim to the Moral Law of God--but the
Spirit of God saw it as still relevant. This is a big issue in some circles
today. The New Testament is built on the Old. When Paul wrote to Timothy that
"all scripture is given by inspiration of God" all there was were the
Old Testament including the Law of God. Paul applies it to the children of
Gentiles--we don't know that any of them had been converted, some may have
been. Based on Paul's evangelistic word in the last chapter, it is safe to
assume some were not believers. But, the Apostle has no qualms about applying
the OT Moral Law to them as children in a NC Church. It is a wonderful
observation to make.
He tells them to
honor their father and mother--obedience is high honor toward a parent.
Have you noticed that
it is not just the father who is to be obeyed, but both parents, father and
mother. That's in the text in Ephesians and the text of Exodus 20 and Deut 5
that was 1400 years old to them. And it is still relevant to instruct us and
our children another 2,100 years beyond their time.
In case you are
wondering what you will get out of obedience to your parents--there is a
general promise or blessing….
5. The Blessing
3 “that
it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.'
There aren't a lot of
things someone can do to live a longer life. But, generally speaking, in your
life, things will go better for you if you obey your parents.
How do you feel when
you disobey? How do you feel when you disobey and get caught? How do you feel
when you obey and your parents are happy with you? You learn to live in such a
way that there are fewer stresses on you in life. You aren't disposed to lie
and get in trouble because you have been nurtured to tell the truth. I could
talk about so many sins or ways folly should be driven out of the young ones in
order that they might learn to seek God's forgiveness and principles of Godly
living being trained by His Book.
All of this is put
into perspective with…..
6. The Balance of
Fatherly Love
4 And you, fathers, do
not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and
admonition of the Lord.
Fathers, we have a special place in all of this. As
leaders in the home the responsibility falls on us, even though some should be
delegated to the mother. The father must see that in these areas the children
aren't frustrated to the point venting their wrath on themselves, others or
inanimate objects. Our job is to coordinate all of this so that we nurture and
admonish them in the things of the Lord.
There
is another side to all of this nurture and discipline that we often neglect.
That is to remember to look for the good, what is right, what is noble and
thank your children graciously when they simply do what you asked them to
do--when they hear and do--thank them for the grace they have given.
There
is a type of rebellion that is passive rebellion. Children do what they are
told, but not out of an obedient heart. Realize that and be kind, nonetheless.
They are acting like sinners do. At least they did what was commanded. Some
might think I'm being too soft. But, as I look at my own heart, there are
things I sometimes have to do when my heart isn't fully engaged in it. I have
to be careful to not correct my children in such a way that I teach them to be
hypocrites. That is a fulltime job for us all.
May the Lord give strength to
parents and children.
Children, Obey your parents in
the Lord, for it is right. If you don't obey, pray to God and ask for him to
forgive you of your sin and to change your heart so you will listen, and do
what your parents say. And, add to your prayer that God would save you by
giving you faith in Jesus to live differently. AMEN!
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